A great partner is honest, respectful, loyal, forgiving and humble. And they have the capability to provide unconditional love.
- A great partner loves and put themselves first.
I term this being spiritually selfish. Couples often come into my office with the misconception that you should put your partner’s needs before your own.
The problem is that people will give until they have nothing left. This not only depletes partners but it also leads to resentment, hostility and disconnection.
Knowing your needs and taking care of yourself is key for your health and well-being. It also gives you the energy to be a great partner.
- A great partner stays attuned to their partner’s needs.
A great partner knows their partner’s goals and dreams. They also know what their partner considers to be supportive and loving behavior.
They know because they may check in with each other every day. Or they may ask questions directly.
- A great partner understands the true meaning of 50/50.
A common complaint I hear from couples is that one partner is doing more of the work. A 50/50 partnership in a committed relationship differs from a business arrangement.
There are peaks and valleys in every relationship. For instance, one partner may be attending school or struggling with a loss, and the other partner may pick up the missing pieces.
However, as long as the roles do switch throughout the relationship, then it is 50/50.
- A great partner is a good listener.
Being a good listener goes beyond hearing what your partner says. Rather, it’s paying attention to their message and being non-judgmental. For instance, ask yourself: Am I being sensitive to what they’re saying?
This also includes asking your partner for clarification and sharing how you heard their message. It helps to minimize miscommunication.
- A great partner is a good communicator.
Being a good communicator entails paying attention to the words you choose and the tone you use. That’s because what you are saying may not be what your partner is actually hearing.
Being a good communicator also means avoiding aggressive words and tones, which only makes the listener feel defensive and inadequate.